Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
