I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
