If i come over, it means nothing
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
