In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
