If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just found a bag of teeth...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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