The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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