is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
