My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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