I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
