Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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