do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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