Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize