I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Holy sore nipples Batman
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
