we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
