handjob tips. give me some.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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