Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
