I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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