Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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