How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
