I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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