69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
