There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize