do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Soap is not a condiment
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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