its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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