Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We need a shit load of segways right now
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
