you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
