How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ketchup is God's man juice
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
