Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize