i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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