if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
