help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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