I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize