Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
