lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
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I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
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As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.