Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So many bounce houses so little time
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.