Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

sorry about calling you the devil all night.

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(208): View more from Idaho

this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.

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(562): View more from California

I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win

(608): View more from Wisconsin

lets go back to having secrets in our friendship

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(650): View more from California

Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

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(410): View more from Maryland

Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.

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