Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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