remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
