I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize