i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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