I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it because I queefed?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
