He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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