if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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