Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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