so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
