Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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