where does the pee come out of this thing
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
