Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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