My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize