you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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