remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm having to shit out rocks
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