i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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