went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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