Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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