he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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