East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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