For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
