kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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