Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
