Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
