ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
