Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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