it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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