I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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